What's wrong with me? I don't know. Lately I feel like I've been sneeking back into my corner, away from people, away from my problems. I love my friends but I just feel like I don't want to be around people. All I want to do is curl up in a little ball and not be seen or heard. I don't care if thats what happens. At least I'll have no more realtionships to ruin. Part of this is because I recently found out why I lost one of my best friends. If I could turn back time and change the way I acted, I would. However, the reality is that I can't. I'm sorry. Part of me feels that this is going to happen with all my realationships, so I might as well stop everything while I still can. I don't want to be the cause of problems, I don't want to be the cause of happiness. I don't want to be anything. I'll tell you what I do want. I want ot be with that person that does make me happy. I want to find myself again. I want to go away and see the world. I want to study art and history. I want to help people. I want to experiance life. Come to think of it I guess I'm experiancing life now eh?? Anyways, forgive my use of the english language, this was a quick post.
Monday, January 09, 2006
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