It's 11:30 pm and I am so exhausted but I can't sleep. As usual, I went to work for 9.5 hours, found Gary, went to a house with people, then shortly after I arrived, I left. I've been thinking a lot tonight. I tend to do that, and it puts me in an extremely depressed mood. I feel so unbeleivably distant from everyone. It seems like everyone's moving on, doing there own things, and I'm just suck. I'm scared that I will grow so far apart from the people I love and soon, they will just forget me. I feel so bad for the pain that I have caused in others. Even though some of it wasn't my fault, most of it was and I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for saying anything, I'm sorry for being me. I regret the fact that I let important people in my life just slip away. A prime example, Kate. I didn't even see her on the day she left. I miss her so unbeleivably much that no one can understand. We use to hang out every weekend, and talk for hours on the phone about everything and anything we can think of. The thing I miss the most is having my best friend just a 10 min. drive away. I know people move on and do their own thing, but it hurts. I don't want to lose anyone else. Maybe, I just need to grow up. I always say "regret nothing"; I'm just a giant hypocrite.

I don't want to lose you.
You know who you are.