Have you ever..
Have you ever had those days were nothing goes right and you just want to cry? Well today was one of those days. I planned to sleep in, clean my room, have an overdue talk with my mom about stuff, relax with my friends and go to a staff meeting. Well, I did sleep in but once I woke up everything fell apart. I got called into work where I endured 3.5 hours of being harassed and pushed around. Then I came home got yelled at for no reason once so ever and got kicked out of my house for the rest of the day. I do not understand what I do that is so bad. Everything is my fault, and I know that. I'm trying to change but it is just not working. One of the reasons is, is that I do not know exactly what to change about myself. Personally, I think I need to leave. I do not want to leave my friends or Dan but sometimes I get the impression that I ruin things. I get that impression from my parents and from some people I hang out with. I never really felt like an intruder or the cause of any problems until lately. People have been saying that they don't feel like "the group" isn't a group anymore. I can't help but feel that this is my fault. I am the "new girl" and I feel like I just pushed my way into everyones lives unwanted. I just wanted to be accepted by people and I am selfish for it. I didn't think about ruining peoples' realationships, spiltting anyone up, or causing any drama. I just wanted friends who I could actually call friends. I feel like I have found this in some people, but I am extremely hated by others.
This question is for anyone who reads this, and I want a truthful answer. Would life be better without me? Am I the cause of all the bad things that happen to people? Maybe your life and the lives of others would be less dramatic. I am partcially saying this because I am in a bad mood, but I do also want the truth. If I got up and left on the next plane to Scotland, would anyone care? I do not see why anyone would. Thats all.
At times I want to leave,
To never look back.
But when I turn my head,
I see you.
Without you,
I would not be here.
This question is for anyone who reads this, and I want a truthful answer. Would life be better without me? Am I the cause of all the bad things that happen to people? Maybe your life and the lives of others would be less dramatic. I am partcially saying this because I am in a bad mood, but I do also want the truth. If I got up and left on the next plane to Scotland, would anyone care? I do not see why anyone would. Thats all.
At times I want to leave,
To never look back.
But when I turn my head,
I see you.
Without you,
I would not be here.
posted by JB at 9:57 PM
4 Comments:
Jenn, you already know what my answer to your question is. I honestly have felt the way u do so many times. It gets better. Ahhh lifes ups and downs. You know what u need, a vaction.. time to relax.. and take time for yourself, and dan too. a couple more weeks hun. hang in there.
I won't dignify that with a proper response, you know how I feel. You make me happy, and thats all that matters to me
i would kill myself if you left. Unless i went with you.
I feel privleged to know you. And that's the truth. I called you today, But I guess you know that. Than I read this, and I was SO SAD. We all love you. I dont think I've ever heard anybody say bad things about you. And theres a reason for that. We *heart* you.
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