Its been a long time but I'm back. I decided that I just needed to post. I'm thinking about a lot of random stuff right now so bare with me or stop reading.
Relationships. All realtionships are tricky things. There are so many emotions that one feels that can drive an individual insane, but at the same time you cannot live without those emotions. Lately I have realized that all relationships are work. Whether they are romantic realtionships or friendships, they all require effort. To some, this may seem to difficult so they avoid these situations as much as possible. In my opinion, the effort is what brings people closer together. When you are having a problem with someone, tell them. Don't just run away and think that the problem is going to fix itself, because the truth is, it won't. Communication is a key part to a realtionship. By using your words and not letting emotions control your every decision people would be able to be civil towards eachother. Yes, I am an emotional person and I tend to let my emotions get the best of me, but that is one thing I'm trying to fix.
It has been and up and down day. I handed out resumes and everything was going great. I got home and got a call from my doctor that they wanted to see me. They said it had something to do with my heart. I'm pretty sure that nothing is extremely wrong, but I tend to overthink way too much. Now I'm kind of scaring myself which I do not need. However, after I got a called in for a job interview and I am really hoping I get the job seeing as I am broke. Things were looking up but then I started thinking again. Not about my health but the other people in my life. I kept asking myself, "Are people sick of me?" I just hope that if anyone is, if they would tell me so that I don't annoy the hell out of them. I know people need their own time and stuff, and I'm just scared that I am hanging around too much and things are dying. Then I started thinking that if there is something wrong with me (health wise), then would anyone care, or would they just brush it off and go on with their lives. I always want to make an impact on everyones' lives, a good one hopefully.
I was threatened to be kicked out of my house today. My parents decided to start charging me rent, and like real life, if I don't make that rent they will kick me out. All I want to do is get a job, save up for school, and be the person I want to be. Unfortunatly in my parents eyes, I'm not going to amount to anything. They told me that I should just be a secretary and get through life that way. I want to be more then a secretary. I want to be a doctor, or an interior designer, or open a world famous hotel/resort or maybe an awesome club in L.A. Hell, I should do all of it. haha right. Anyways, shouldn't parents be there to support their kids. However, they are stressed out right now so I'm hoping this is a phase.
The other night I had a dream that I can't seem to forget. In the dream Dan left for Ireland then he called me a couple weeks later and told me he never wanted to see me again and that he wasn't coming back. I know it was just a dream but I can't stop thinking about it. It made me really sad. What if its a sign. I don't know. He really wants to go and thats awesome, I encourage it. Although, theres that thought that he might not want to come back. Ok, this isn't going to be for a long time, things could change, I'm not going to think about it. *Not thinking about it* people are right, I am a nerd.
Alright, I think I am done my rambling for now. I told you that this post was really random. If you read it all the way through, then I thank you.
Love Always.
Relationships. All realtionships are tricky things. There are so many emotions that one feels that can drive an individual insane, but at the same time you cannot live without those emotions. Lately I have realized that all relationships are work. Whether they are romantic realtionships or friendships, they all require effort. To some, this may seem to difficult so they avoid these situations as much as possible. In my opinion, the effort is what brings people closer together. When you are having a problem with someone, tell them. Don't just run away and think that the problem is going to fix itself, because the truth is, it won't. Communication is a key part to a realtionship. By using your words and not letting emotions control your every decision people would be able to be civil towards eachother. Yes, I am an emotional person and I tend to let my emotions get the best of me, but that is one thing I'm trying to fix.
It has been and up and down day. I handed out resumes and everything was going great. I got home and got a call from my doctor that they wanted to see me. They said it had something to do with my heart. I'm pretty sure that nothing is extremely wrong, but I tend to overthink way too much. Now I'm kind of scaring myself which I do not need. However, after I got a called in for a job interview and I am really hoping I get the job seeing as I am broke. Things were looking up but then I started thinking again. Not about my health but the other people in my life. I kept asking myself, "Are people sick of me?" I just hope that if anyone is, if they would tell me so that I don't annoy the hell out of them. I know people need their own time and stuff, and I'm just scared that I am hanging around too much and things are dying. Then I started thinking that if there is something wrong with me (health wise), then would anyone care, or would they just brush it off and go on with their lives. I always want to make an impact on everyones' lives, a good one hopefully.
I was threatened to be kicked out of my house today. My parents decided to start charging me rent, and like real life, if I don't make that rent they will kick me out. All I want to do is get a job, save up for school, and be the person I want to be. Unfortunatly in my parents eyes, I'm not going to amount to anything. They told me that I should just be a secretary and get through life that way. I want to be more then a secretary. I want to be a doctor, or an interior designer, or open a world famous hotel/resort or maybe an awesome club in L.A. Hell, I should do all of it. haha right. Anyways, shouldn't parents be there to support their kids. However, they are stressed out right now so I'm hoping this is a phase.
The other night I had a dream that I can't seem to forget. In the dream Dan left for Ireland then he called me a couple weeks later and told me he never wanted to see me again and that he wasn't coming back. I know it was just a dream but I can't stop thinking about it. It made me really sad. What if its a sign. I don't know. He really wants to go and thats awesome, I encourage it. Although, theres that thought that he might not want to come back. Ok, this isn't going to be for a long time, things could change, I'm not going to think about it. *Not thinking about it* people are right, I am a nerd.
Alright, I think I am done my rambling for now. I told you that this post was really random. If you read it all the way through, then I thank you.
Love Always.
posted by JB at 12:22 AM
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