I don't know where this is coming from, but just bare with me. I know that some people think that I am plain dumb. I am the typical dumb "blonde" (even though I hide it behind hair dye) that everyone pokes fun at and who everyone can jsut walk all over. Not all, but some people do not really know me. They do not understand that I can be intelligant when I want, and that I have my own opinions and feelings. Yes, I will admit I do some pretty stupid stuff and I say some pretty stupid stuff, but doesn't everyone. I just go along with it because I like to laugh at myself and not take things seriously. But sometimes it gets to be too much. People seem to think "Oh Jenn won't care", when really I do. I don't know how this all started. I think it was a couple weeks ago when this guy (who will remain nameless) was being a jerk. I was just talking with my friends goofin off because, that's what I do. I said something dumb but I was not serious, and this guy was like "Wow. No wonder you're going to MalU, I thought you were somewhat smart." That got me thinking. Maybe, I let people walk all over me too much. I do not want to be a bitch but I do not want to be a push-over. The truth is, is that I don't care enough to get invovled with alot of shit. I'm layed-back, sorry if that is a sin. I'm just tired of people assuming that I am dumb and ignorant. Yes, I'm a goof, but I like to have fun. Sorry if thats a sin too. Just because I like to have fun does not been I do not have anything intelligant to say, or any constructive critisim. And for all you who care, it is not that I'm too dumb to get into any big University, its just that I don't see a point. Why go to a huge university when you can stay at home, go to an equally good school, save up for a year or two, and pay half of the tution then you would at the other schools? You can always transfer school after a year, so really I do not see a point.
Another thing, everytime we go visit family there is a certain famiyl member who always makes me feel like shit about myself. This person always brings up the fact that their son is going to UVic and is becoming a lawyer and is getting a B in Math 12. This person also brings up how I'm a slacker because I did not take Math, Calculus, or Physics. Why the fuck do they care? Im not their child. The main reason is to make me look like a failure to the rest of my family and mainly to myself. I hate to say it, but it is working. I am at a total loss. I have no clue what I want to do after school and now that seems like a bad thing. Because of this person, I feel like complete and utter shit. I just want to get out on my own and away from that part of my family.
The only great things in my life are my friends. Dan, Kate, Ashley, Amy, Alana, and everyone else who may read this, I don't know what I would do without you. haha I know I say that a lot, but its true.

Prom is on Saturday and I have to admit that I'm getting kind of excited. I got my hair done which was fun until my hairdresser said that I should start modeling for hairstylists. Thats when I kind of freaked out, lol. There's no way in hell I would do that. I stand behind the camera, not infront of it. Why don't people understand that? Models have self-confidence, I do not. I don't know why, I just don't. I was always the shy kid and in some ways I always will be. I jsut don't like to be put on diplay that all. Ok enough of my excuses. Ummm, yes I don't know what else to say. Ummm....ok I'll jsut leave.
Bye.

Just when things are starting to go good again with my parents, something else comes around to screw it up. Like today for example. I was having a pretty good day until my mom picked me up. She got a call from some guy who I do not even know telling her that I have missed 10 classes in 2 weeks. Yes, I will admit that I skip the odd class but it is usually photography and when I have nothing to do. I never skip my important classes. She was told that I did not go to school Friday, Monday or Tuesday which is a mistake. However, she does not beleive me. All the time that I have put in to try to regain my parents respect is gone to hell. I thought things were going to be different, things were going to be all good between us. But since I am a screw-up, I realize that will never be.

I know how before I said that people get way into prom and everything, but I have to admit that I am kind of excited now. Less then two weeks and I have most of my stuff done which is suprising. I am one of those people who leave everything to the last minute, but this time I did not. yay go me:P

I am hoping my parents are not going to freak out about my report card this semester. They shouldn't but they still might. I got three A's and a B. That is considerably better than last semester but I'm still scared they are going to flip because I got a B in English. I shouldn't of but I did anyways. My parents have actually been pretty good lately which is an awesome sign. Their starting to realize how I am not the "perfect" daughter and that I do have my imperfections. However, they are still on my case about university. Lately I have been lost. I have no clue what to do after highschool. I have the urge to take a year off, but I know that if I do I'll never get back into school. For you people who know me, you know that I am the most undecisive person on the face of the earth, so you can imagine how difficult it is for me to pick a carrer path. Anyone have any suggestions? (lol). There is one subject that I am extremely interested in and this is Antropology. The down side is that there are no jobs out there for an Anthropologist. So, when I graduate from university, I'll be broke.

Anyways, I had a big talk with my mom today about everything. I told her about how I felt about everything. I even told her things that I kept to myself. Things that I beleived in and situations that I have been in, mainly during the end of last school year and into the summer. I may get up the courage to tak to people about it someday, but I think people will critisize me for it. Maybe I can use my experiances to help people, possibly.

Yayy, 1 1/2 hours until dance.
Peace.

It's been a while since my last post, I know, but I haven't had anything really constructive to say. Not like this post is going to be anymore contructive, but I need to kill time. I'm going to dance soon which is awesome. I haven't really been into dance lately, I do not know why, but I'm getting back into it again. I really want to compete, but I guess you could say that I'm scared. Premier level is so much more intense than Intermediate. Prom is coming up and I am getting kind of excited. I get to go to the Dover prom with Dan which is awesome, and I get to spend the entire night with people I love!! :D I have probably rambled about this before, deal with it. This morning my mom and I were talking about prom (I swear she is more excited than me) and she asked me what we were doing afterwards. I told her that we were going to Laura's and she asked if we were going to be drinking. I said "obviously". She then started lecturing me about drinking. She said (these are her exact words), "Now you don't drink so you have to be careful. If you drink too much then you can start to get sick and it can ruin your night." I could not beleive how incredibly oblivious she is to everything. I feel kind of bad because I always thought that she knew I drank, but apparently not. It is sad how little my own mother knows me. In a couple years I can reveal all my "secrets" and she can not get mad at me, it should be quite entertaining. My little sister on the other hand is growing up so fast. She has a boyfriend. aww. Oh grade 8 relationships, I give this a month tops.
I must go to dance now, peace.

This is absolutly pointless, I have nothing constructive or happy to say...thats all.